Today was a long and emotional day. I spent half the day in tears, and the other half having emotional breakdowns. Bi polar, much?
This morning, I was happy.
By the time second period came around, I was upset. I felt ignored and rejected by a few people I needed to talk to.
By third period I was even more upset. a) My phone was glitching out, calling my speed dials at random. b) I was having rough times with Matt. c) I spilled my smoothie all over the gym floor playing Asian foot volleyball.
At lunch, things got to lighten up a bit when I got to spend time with Fruitloop and Import, after many months of not seeing either of them, besides in the halls and out side of the wall. But things were still rough, even with my friends there to comfort me.
Fourth period, was the beginning of my tears. I left class at least 3 times to go into the bathroom and cry. I couldn't breathe, and I couldn't think. I couldn't focus on any of my work, sadly meaning the pages I was supposed to do from my Sick Week. I'm sitting at a 49 because of it.
Last class was the last straw of this piece of shit day (or so I thought). After seeing a text someone (leaving nameless) had sent to my best friend, I was completely shattered. I left class without asking, and went straight out to the wall to cry on Imports shoulder. I was done, at that point. I couldn't even comprehend how upset I was.
After school - the shit hit the fan. Fruitloop and I had to take Import to the Sexual Health Center for pregnancy test, and while waiting for her name to be called, I got a message that made my heart completely drop. I couldn't stand to wait anymore, and left before anyone had a chance to ask what was wrong. I called my mom asking her to pick me up, went into an alley and started to cry so hard that I was choking. Things didn't get better. I continued to cry harder and harder the more the evening progressed. By the time I finally tuned down the tears to a minimum, I was at work. Luckily my mom and Rae were there to comfort me, and I though I was still shattered... I realized that things had actually begun to look up.
Now, it's later in the evening and I'm not longer being tortured by my emotions. Things are still shit, and I still hurt inside, but I know with time things will get better.
Matt,
Forever is forever. It doesn't have a limit.
I never want to fight with you again.
I will keep us together - as long as I'm still breathing.
No matter what it takes.
No matter the sacrifice.
I love you.
Avito.
- Cherron
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